


12x19 Destiel Ficlet

by Samanstiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x19, Angels, Canon, Destiel Fluff, Ficlet, Fluff, Lucifer - Freeform, M/M, SPN - Freeform, Supernatural Season 12, canonverse, kelly cline, season 12, spn 12x19, the bunker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:17:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samanstiel/pseuds/Samanstiel
Summary: Scenario in which Dean and Castiel are reunited after several months of being apart during the events of 12x19.Please note that this was written BEFORE the original airing of 12x19, not after (and before any previews). At the time of writing this, I have no idea what 12x19 is going to be about but here we go.





	12x19 Destiel Ficlet

_ The situation with Kelly Cline was yet to be resolved. Even so, there was one thing the three boys could agree on - she was innocent. Pressured by both the British Men of Letters and Heaven to kill Kelly, the angel and the hunters just can’t do it. Dean was thrilled to see Cas after so long, but seeing him in such a random situation has led to more questions and complications. They finally decided that it would be best to keep Kelly in the bunker until they figured out what to do, as the bunker was well hidden (or so they thought). They finally escaped Dagon, and with Kelly in the bunker, there was a constant eye on the woman to ensure her safety as she was still deciding on what she needed to do. Sam took the first watch while Dean was supposed to sleep. Dean caught the angel in the library, their first moment together alone to discuss what was happening on a more personal level. _

“What are you going to do, Cas?” Dean questioned, watching as the angel pulled a chair out and slumped into the chair was if he hadn’t sat in weeks. His tone was gentle at first, but Cas seemed to be evasive towards him, which was agitating.

“I don’t know,” Cas answered honestly, “Think, I guess. You should get some rest.” 

“Is that what you were doing this whole time? Thinking?” Dean asked plainly, “Where were you? Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

On the inside, Dean was fuming and overwhelmed with worry. He didn’t understand why he was angry, he had missed Cas terribly, but he couldn’t help but feel distraught over not knowing his whereabouts for months and how casual Cas was acting about it. 

“I was in heaven,” Cas answered, “There’s not a good cellular connection”--

“You were in  _ heaven _ ?” Dean repeated, clearly surprised by this information. 

“Yes.”

“How? I thought you couldn’t get in?”

“I was guided in by another angel,” said Cas, “I was told there could be redemption for

me if I kill Lucifer’s child.”

“And how did that go for you?” Dean question snarkily. He didn’t know why he was being so defensive. He hated himself for it. “Couldn’t do it, could you?”

“Kelly is still a person,” Cas admitted, his voice cracking slightly, “It’s not her fault this

happened.”

“You’re too human to do it,” Dean said, easing his tone slightly at Castiel’s growing

emotions, “I don’t know why you’d want redemption anyways”--

“I don’t belong anywhere, Dean,” Cas said with sadness in his eyes, standing up to face Dean. His words hurt Dean, who felt his chest grow heavy. 

“That’s not true,” Dean said quickly. 

“I can’t redeem myself with the angels,” Cas continued, each word furthering the

heartache he was feeling, “I am too different from them. The ones who don’t think I am a disgrace still think I am weak for feeling something other than command and attack, for feeling  _ human  _ emotions, for befriending mankind. And yet, I can’t help but feel empty on Earth as well. I don’t fit in with humans, either. I can’t say I’m torn between two worlds because, well, I don’t belong in either. No matter what, I’m weak, and I just get in the way or make things worse. I try to do good, I do, but it’s not good enough. I am not good enough”-

“Stop,” Dean intervened quickly, cutting the angel off. Cas looked at Dean with pleading 

eyes, his chin quivering as the weight of everything he was thinking and feeling finally peaked. Dean was speechless for a moment, at complete disbelief that Cas would feel this way about himself. 

“Stop,” Dean repeated finally, taking a few steps closer to Cas. 

“It’s true,” Cas spoke, lowering his eyes in shame. 

“No, it’s not. Maybe I haven’t made myself clear in the past, and maybe I don’t do a great 

job expressing it, but none of that is true, Cas. At least, not fitting in here, or feeling like you are weak or get in the way. When I first met you, I thought you were badass and I still think you are badass, except you are less of a robot now and that’s not a bad thing.”

Cas managed a small amused smile, but it was quickly replaced once again by his 

lingering depression. He parted his lips, clearly wanting to say something, but words were hard to form. 

“You really think that?” Cas managed softly. 

“Of course I do,” Dean reassured, “ Tell me, where do you feel happier? Here, or in 

heaven?”

“Here,” Cas said quickly, “Here I am allowed choice and freedom.”

“Then you belong here, Cas,” Dean said firmly, a hint of desperation in his voice, “You 

belong with us.” 

Cas stared at Dean as he listened, traces of tears swirling in his big eyes. Dean 

hesitated, scanning the floor shyly before he spoke again. 

“You belong with me,” he said, and it was as if a heavy tension had finally broken 

between the two. Cas tilted his head, completely speechless as a tear fell from his face. Dean hated that tear. It mocked him. It mocked any happiness he could possibly grant the angel. It was selfish of him to hold back any longer. He lifted his hand up, touching the angel’s distraught face. Cas didn’t flinch, instead he just kept looking into Dean’s eyes, pleading for some security. 

“Maybe it’s selfish of me to say that, but I don’t care. I know I could treat you better, Cas, and I’m sorry if I have ever made you feel like you were wanted or needed here. I hope you understand that here, with me, you always have the right to choose your own path and I will always be here to listen to whatever it is you are feeling. What I feel - what you feel, it doesn’t make us weak, it makes us moral, it makes us  _ human _ and I know that may not be something you want to hear. You’re an angel, sure, but you’re human, too, and that is why you are better than all of them. What makes you a great angel is not how big of a punch you manage to make, it’s how you are able to connect with the people you are supposed to protect. You may be an outcast but hell, I’m an outcast, too. Sam and I aren’t exactly the poster boys for a normal human life.” 

Cas smiled softly once again, and Dean felt lighter after seeing it again. 

“I’ve been going crazy wondering where you were,” Dean furthered hastily, “You weren’t

returning my calls- Cas, I just wanted to know that you were okay. I needed to know you were okay.”

“I’m sorry to have caused you anguish,” Cas said, “You shouldn’t worry about me”-

“Of course I worry about you,” Dean interrupted, “That’s what you do when you care 

about someone, you worry about them. And Cas, you help in more ways then you know.”

Dean removed the small knife from his pocket, handing it to Cas. He pressed a single 

finger on the initials carved into the table. 

“Make your mark.”

“Dean”-Cas began to protest. 

“No, don’t argue. You are one of us. This is where you belong. You might not have been 

born, or made, or whatever, a Winchester, but you’re one of us now. Mark it. CW.”

Cas stared at the knife for several moments before he took it from Dean’s hand. 

He leaned over the table, staring at the scratches already made into it by his closest friends. Right under Dean’s initals, he scratched his own  _ C _ , Dean watching him fondly, and finally followed it with a  _ W _ . He returned the knife to Dean, who looked amused and carved something else into the table - a halo right over the initials Cas had just made. 

“That’s cliche,” Cas grumbled. 

“No it’s not,” Dean rebutted, “It’s what you are. You’re a human and an angel, Cas, and 

that’s what makes you who you are. Be proud of it.”


End file.
